Books

Books on Divorce and Custody These are books that, while not 'Men's Movement' oriented, may be of interest.

Baris, Mitchell A. and Garrity, Carla B. Children Of Divorce

"e;This is a wonderful book to help parents understand the needs of the child to spend time and develop their relationship with both the custodial and non-custodial parent. Their information is based on research which respects the many different maturity levels in children and how a child's need to spend time with the non-custodial parent can and often does increase with age. It gives some very good ideas with regard to time, and some good charts and graphs to follow in addition to discussing emotional development and participation of the parents.

"Where I live in Colorado, this book is used and has much influence with the courts in helping to determine the amount of parenting time for both parents. It also gives excellent advice on what the non-custodial parent can do to maintain their relationship with their child when not with the child."

Charalambous, Mark According to the Law

- On the Massachusetts Family Court System.

Cohen, Miriam Galper "The Joint Custody Handbook -- Creating Arrangements That Work" Running Press, 1991.

Andrew, Cornes Divorce and Remarriage Biblical Principles and Pastoral Practice , Softcover, 528 pages, $24.99

A penetrating book on a subject that touches each of our lives. Invaluable and well worth the expense.

A comprehensive Christian study of singleness, marriage, divorce, and remarriage. It will, I predict, stimulate much furious rethinking and become indispensable for everybody who is anxious to develop a Christian mind on these topics. [John Stott]

Covington, Lee How To Dump Your Wife, 1994. $25, Fender Publishing Company.

It's a book that gives practical advice to husbands who feel trapped in bad marriages. Not a lawyer or a shrink, the author of HOW TO DUMP YOUR WIFE is a female writer who has seen too many friends suffer unfairly from the bias against men in divorce courts. The book is funny, honest, but mostly it's a practical book. It points out the traps and the tricks in the system. It tell readers how to avoid the mistakes most men make when they leave their wives.

Culligan, Joseph J. When In Doubt Check Him Out ISBN#9 780963 062123.

A good book in helping to get information on people and finding them even This book has some great stuff in it that will allow you to think like a detective. It has the phone numbers and addresses of state agencies all over the place. {DH}

Elium, Don and Jeanne Raising A Son

" This is one of the most powerful, useful, and helpful books I've read to help me try to understand the differences between my needs (emotional, psychological etc.) of raising my son, and my son's needs to be raised by both me and his father. I strongly, strongly recommend this book to anyone who is the parent of a son."

Family Law Section, American Bar Association, 750 N. Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Il 60611 order by fax 312-988-5568 or by mail to American bar association, publication orders, po box 10892, Chicago, Il 60610-0892

They offer a pamphlet listing.

Franks, Maurice R. "How to Avoid Alimony: How to deal with your wife, her lawyer, the courts and the laws without losing your shirt." Signet 1975

It's probably a bit dated, legally, but then again, there isn't much else out there that I know of. This book is very well-documented, with lots of verbose footnotes in the back and citations sprinkled liberally around. It covers not only alimony, but child support, the impact of the Equal Rights Amendment "at this writing, it appears the proposed amendment will pass," etc. {DG}

This book deals with the great hostility divorced parents sometimes have towards each other and how this hostility hurts the children. Such as parents hoping children and planting in children's minds that they do not like the other parent. The book also offers solutions. (We want cooperative co-parenting for the children!)

While the book makes some very good points....it has one very very bad point. In the visitation schedules.... it recommends less visitation with the higher conflict divorces. With the greatest conflict, it only recommends supervised visitation. We all know that in such cases the children need more time with the parent who does not promote conflict. (You have high conflict so lets just give the one party everything that will really reduce conflict!)

The authors are child psychologists and they over promote child psychology.

 Chapter Titles.........  Introduction Why Work
It
Out?  Understanding Conflict and Developmentally How
to Assess Conflict Normal Visitation versus Conflict
Visitation Identifying and Understanding Parental
Alienation A Comprehensive Intervention Model for
Parental Alienation Creating a Parenting Plan
for High
Conflict Divorce Implementing the Parenting Plan

Appendix Parenting Plan Parenting Checklist Parenting
Coordinator Agreement Child Therapist Agreement

There are quotes.

Hardwick, C, Win Your Child Custody War, by Pale Horse Publishing 1994, ISBN 0-9640227-0-2

There is a review.

Kiefer, Louis "How to Win Custody" Cornerstone Library (Simon & Schuster) 1982

Guides a divorcing parent through every step of the process of gaining custody or visitation. Includes sections on child kidnapping, attorneys, finding a lost child, and the noncustodial mother (the book is written from a father's point of view otherwise).{DG}

Kline, Kris "For the Sake of the Children - How to Share Your Children With Your Ex-Spouse In Spite of Your Anger" Prima Publishing, 1992

Focuses on the importance to the child(ren) of having both parents consistently in their lives, not being forced to choose sides, etc.{JR}

Lee, Steven and Ellie, In the pursuit of Justice?

A WWW book. " A book about the abuse of a family by a Child Protective Service agency and the Florida State's Attorney Office. It sheds light on the sad state of affairs of the civil courts, the intrusive and easily abusive legal system, and Child Protective Services in particular. "

Luepnitz, Deborah Anna Child Custody: A Study of Families after Divorce. Lexington, MA: Lexington Books, 1982. 191 pp. $18.95

MacCoby, Elenore E. & Mnookin, Robert H. Dividing the Child: Social & Legal Dilemmas of Custody Publisher: Harvard University Press, 1992 ISBN: 0-674-21294-0

Medved, Diane, Ph.D The Case Against Divorce, ISBN 0-8041-0633-9

I loved this book---all men and women thinking of divorcing should read this. Perhaps it follows my personal biases against divorce but it is a good book. Doesn't always work though--my ex burnt the book when I gave her a copy at the time of the breakup. {DH}

We have another review.

Metz, Charles V. Divorce and custody for men; a guide and primer designed exclusively to help men win just settlement Garden City, N.Y., Doubleday, 1968. xvi, 147 p. 22 cm. (Divorce suits--United States.)

Myslinski, Richard Child Support Guidelines: The Next Generation

Stuart Miller has provided an extract,

Nolo Press has books on do-it-yourself in the legal system, including family matters, adoption and divorce.

Nolo Press 800-995-4775

They distribute:

Pocket Guide to California law (also on disk)
Pocket Guide to Family Law
Represent Yourself in Court (I have this one, its good)
Smart Ways to Save Money During and after Divorce
Fed Up With the Legal System
How to Raise or Lower Your Child Support In California

Pendergrast, Mark Victims of Memory

Ricci, Isolina "Mom's House, Dad's House -- Making Shared Custody Work (How Parents Can Make Two Homes for Their Children After Divorce)" Collier Books/Macmillan Publishing, 1980

A classic in the field, [...]{JR}

Silver, Gerald A & Silver, Myrna "Weekend Fathers" Stratford Press 1981

This is a great book for divorced fathers and fathers going through the divorce process. Not only does it cover some of the legal territory involved in continuing a relationship with your children after divorce, but it talks about how to make the most of whatever time you end up with and how to keep your kids sane and happy even if their parents hate each others' guts.{DG}

Tong, Dean "Don't Blame Me, Daddy" Hampton Roads Publishing

Although not as thorough [as "Guilty Until Proven Innocent," see below] in terms of step-by-step advice, it does give very helpful advice, and is a more incisive examination of the whole child molestation phenomenon and "protective" system. Much less expensive, it is also /highly recommended/ because it gives you a good grasp of what you are up against. This is important knowledge.{FH}

Twilley, Dwight Questions From Dad

Wallerstein, Judith & Blakeslee, Sandra "Second Chances -- Men, Woman and Children A Decade After Divorce" Ticknor & Fields, 1989.

A major work in the field, and the fount of a lot of controversy over the question of joint custody. Used by *both* sides to try to prove their point, but the bottom line seems to be that joint custody is the best solution *when the parents are not fighting*.{JR}

Weiner-Davis, Divorce Buster

I like this book for its common sense approach to trying to save a marriage when it is in the pits, some methods for trying to restore marriages that have broken up,etc. Also some good advice on finding a therapist who believes in saving marriages. {DH}